Gotta' let the truth be told...

For a second I wish the tide would swallow every inch of this city, like a thousand miles of fire.

I know a lot of people that I wish I could help. It’s the worst feeling in the world knowing that someone is hurting on the inside and you cant do anything about it. How can you convince someone that they are worth something, that they deserve to be here, that they have a purpose in life? For example, my friend is possibly the sweetest guy ever. I mean he’s incredibly smart and he has such passion for his hobbies. A lot of things haven’t gone as planned for him but he’s working on it. I know he’s not happy and I really feel like there’s nothing that I can do for him especially since he past drug problems. How can I show him that there is more to life than meth? How can I tell him that there are so many things in his life that are good? He needs to stay around positive people. I just sometimes feel like being there for him and being his friend isn’t enough.

I'm back in Oklahoma. Whoops, typo "Oklahomo"
I've been in Houston for a couple of months. I like it there. It wasn't what I expected. I guess since last summer was so awesome.
I never really liked it here in Oklahoma, but I have my family here. But I have family it two different states. It's really hard to choose between two states and two families.
I think a big reason why I was so disappointed about the trip was because I was hoping to talk to Kevin. I still love him, and that's why it sucked so bad when I didn't even get to talk to him.
I wish that I could get over him, but I just can't. I'm stupid.
Maybe it really wasn't meant to happen..
I'm fucked up, and I know it.
There has to be something wrong with me.
I wish I could figure out what it is that I desperately need to be happy.

Things That I Love

Change everything you are
and everything you were
your number has been called

Fights and battles have begun
revenge will surely come
your hard times are ahead

Best you've got to be the best
you've got to change the world
and use this chance to be heard
your time is now

.. Maybe just for a while..

so things have been a little different lately..
i recently just got back from Houston, i spent about almost 2 months there. it really wasn't what i expected it to be.. i guess i just just so excited because i expected it to be just like last summer. that was the most -hands down- best summer of my life. i honestly miss the way things used to be.
my feelings towards things have changed a lot. i wish that i could get that back.

-porque no te marchas-

i'm trying to get a few things back in order. i don't know why but i really love spanish music, it makes me happy. it's quite possible that it reminds me of things that i wish i never had to let go. i believe that things "happen for a reason" but sometimes i wish that i didn't. mostly because i don't know if that should stop me from pursuing things that i desperately want. and especially if what you want, that didn't "happen" doesn't work.. what now? it wasn't "meant to happen?" i sometimes have a hard time believing that. but i try to stick to it. a lot of really good things have happened because of bad things that have happened. and even though they sucked at first, i'm very grateful for that.
... i know that i'm not perfect. no one is. but i do like the way i am. and if you don't like me then fuck you. =]
but there are some things that i wish that i could fix about myself.. i don't have a bad temper or anything, i just sometimes get irritated easily. and that makes me feel bad.. i don't mean to.
.things i like.
blueberry muffins
iced coffee
getting high
duelo and aventura
chicken nuggets
stickers
hot sauce
holding hands
piano
painting
rain

I tried my best to keep my distance from your dress
but call-response overturns convictions every time.
My memory cannot recall: a wave of alcohol
we shared a cigarette and shave the hours off.

hands against the wall motherfucker!